Pregnant stripper...not hot.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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