sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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