I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
