I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
