Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
