dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am never drinking with the goths again.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
