Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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