He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
