He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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