What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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