who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
where am i from again
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
