it was like eating out sand paper
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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