he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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