Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
