Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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