we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
