We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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