just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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