I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Life is so much better after having sex.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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