I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
