Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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