Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
