Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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