so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
