id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm both gender and math confused
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