think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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