Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
