i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
