maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It was a blind-side dick pic.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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