If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
