What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
