He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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