i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Everclear isn't food dammit
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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