girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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