...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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