i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
