Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
