Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm going to jail i love you
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
