I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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