her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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