Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
