I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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