yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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