i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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