Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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