Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
