it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize