Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
