i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
