Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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