yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
